Not doing enough

I spend hours and hours researching anxiety on the internet looking for a 'cure' or that magic vital piece of information that I might have missed that will suddenly make fall into place, I research books, then buy them and only read part of them. I download hypnosis & relaxation MP3's which I listen to for a while then start to forget about listening to them. I get myself into a routine of going to bed early and getting up early which eventually I fall out of and end up back to up all night and sleeping all day. I go on the exercise bike and think "I'll do this every day' and then I do it a couple of times that week and then don't get on it for weeks. I started an open university course with great intentions - Studying without having to leave the house - win, win situation, but I didn't stick to that either. Why is it that I can't stick to things. Everything feels like a huge effort all the time. I'm full of great intentions one day and I begin to think 'I can do this' then the next day I have no motivation at all to do anything. Then once I've not done it that day I don't continue the next, and so on.

Why do I do this? I really, really do want to get better but from my actions you would think that I don't. Why then can I not find the motivation within me to just do these things. Some days when I feel like hell I make myself clean my house from top to bottom. No matter how anxious, how unmotivated I am, I make myself do it. The reason I do this? because I know that eventually I will feel better. I know that I may feel fed up since cleaning is my least favourite thing in the world to do but I feel slightly 'normal' after it and I feel like I have accomplished something. So knowing this as well why do I not just push myself? Force myself to go to bed early, take 10 mins to relax... these are things I know that if I stick to them they will help me in the long run. I can't can't seem to push myself to do them. If there aren't immediate results I lose interest. I still wait for that day where I wake up and I'm magically better deep down though I know that's never going to happen. The only way I can get better is to face up to things I fear, push myself to develop new habits. Everything takes time but I feel that time is something I'm running out of.

Currently, I'm sitting with another box of sertraline (the last one's went in the bin) and wondering if they are the answer. Will the give me some energy to fight my anxiety? Will they ease it? Will they lift the fog that I constantly feel I'm in? I have so many questions and very little answers about how these could possibly help me. Everyone tells me 'Everyone's different' and not knowing what to expect fills me with doubt. Is there any point going down this route if they're not going to help me. Then on the other hand what if they do help me? I've tried everything else, maybe these are the right answer for me. There's a large part of me that is curious about what effects sertraline could have on my anxiety, this site has some pretty positive reviews of sertraline and I wish I could find the courage to take them.