This week has been a little challenging for me. I'm feeling more motivated and I'm sleeping a lot better - albeit, at the wrong times - but my anxiety is still quite high most of the time and I've saw an increase in panic attacks in the last few days. However, I can cope with this (I think) for a few weeks until the meds are at the correct dose and start to work properly.
Something interesting happened this week though. Two nights in a row I found myself having quite severe chest pain & feeling that I couldn't breathe. I wasn't feeling anxious at all at this point, although my anxiety levels quickly shot up after the chest pains. 'this is it' I thought 'this really is a heart attack this time'. There's no way it could be anxiety, I DIDN'T FEEL ANXIOUS. After a while the chest pain stopped and my anxiety levels dropped enough for me to 'feel safe enough' to go to bed.
The next night I experienced the same thing. I worked myself into such a state the second time that I actually contemplated calling an ambulance. There was no way experiencing chest when not feeling anxious was normal. I managed to calm myself a little and take a diazepam tablet just to see. Twenty minutes later the chest pains were gone, meaning it clearly was anxiety that was causing it. This is what frustrates me. If I have anxiety symptoms without feeling anxious, how do I know if it's just anxiety or something that could potentially be serious? This is what perpetuates my health anxiety.
If I constantly go and get every symptom checked out, I keep the anxiety about my health going as do I when I worry about every symptom but if I just ignore it and think 'oh, it's only anxiety' I'm scared I'll miss something serious. I guess that's the nature of health anxiety but it's been so long that I don't know what the balance between being concerned & over concerned even is anymore.
Saturday 21 April 2012
Tuesday 17 April 2012
Confused
This is what I don't understand. In all the therapy I've had I've always been told that my anxiety & panic is caused by the thoughts and pictures I have. Which in theory makes sense. Here's the confusing part (well for me anyway); for the last few months I've felt extremely anxious when visiting my parents house, yesterday I went to visit them and my anxiety levels were low. I was thinking this is great and that maybe, despite the extremely low dose, the sertraline was maybe working a little. Today I was going to parents again and I wasn't worried about it at all. My thinking was positive and my anxiety was low and then out of nowhere - boom! A panic attack. Now I certainly wasn't thinking anxious thoughts or picturing anything 'bad' so why the panic attack and how do I get sporadic panic attacks under control if I'm not causing them.
I have asked previous therapists about this before and was told 'I MUST' be thinking of something anxiety provoking. I tried to use the why do I have them in my sleep then debate but have never gotten any answers.
I'm a bit confused and frustrated at the moment. I seem to be experiencing panic & anxiety in situations that I could handle before. I'm not sure if it's the sertraline or not but it better pass quickly!
I have asked previous therapists about this before and was told 'I MUST' be thinking of something anxiety provoking. I tried to use the why do I have them in my sleep then debate but have never gotten any answers.
I'm a bit confused and frustrated at the moment. I seem to be experiencing panic & anxiety in situations that I could handle before. I'm not sure if it's the sertraline or not but it better pass quickly!
Monday 16 April 2012
Now on 25mg of sertraline
For the last 3 nights I've upped the sertraline to half a tablet which is 25mg. I'm still feeling very anxious about taking the meds and it took me longer than I expected to do the increase.
My anxiety has been significantly higher the last 3 days; to the point where it has been absolutely terrifying and unbearable & for 2 out of 3 nights I've had to take a valium (I thought/felt I was having a heart attack).
Despite the high anxiety I've found myself more motivated to do things that will help to get my anxiety under control. For the last few days I've been doing progressive muscle relaxation, hypnosis, 10 mins meditation, making lists of positive things that have happened, worry moments, thinking about things in grateful for, affirmations, using cbt models, reading self help books & gradually exposing myself to exercise. These are all things that I tend to start and stop and always 'forget' to do but but I've been doing it all for the last few days and I look forward to doing it rather than thinking 'I'll do it later'. It's not having a huge effect on my anxiety at the moment but I know it will if I keep up with it. I've been listening to Claire weekes downloads too. There's no other person who can explain how I feel and it's a shame there aren't more therapists in the world who have her knowledge, compassion & understanding.
Hope you're all well
X
My anxiety has been significantly higher the last 3 days; to the point where it has been absolutely terrifying and unbearable & for 2 out of 3 nights I've had to take a valium (I thought/felt I was having a heart attack).
Despite the high anxiety I've found myself more motivated to do things that will help to get my anxiety under control. For the last few days I've been doing progressive muscle relaxation, hypnosis, 10 mins meditation, making lists of positive things that have happened, worry moments, thinking about things in grateful for, affirmations, using cbt models, reading self help books & gradually exposing myself to exercise. These are all things that I tend to start and stop and always 'forget' to do but but I've been doing it all for the last few days and I look forward to doing it rather than thinking 'I'll do it later'. It's not having a huge effect on my anxiety at the moment but I know it will if I keep up with it. I've been listening to Claire weekes downloads too. There's no other person who can explain how I feel and it's a shame there aren't more therapists in the world who have her knowledge, compassion & understanding.
Hope you're all well
X
Saturday 14 April 2012
Ten rules for coping with panic
1. Remember panic feelings are only normal reactions that are exaggerated
2. They are not harmful and nothing worse will happen
3. Notice what is happening in your body now. Stay with the present. Slow down, relax, but keep going.
4. Thinking about what could/might happen is unhelpful. Only now matters.
5. Accept the feelings. Let them run through you and they will disappear more quickly.
6. Monitor your level of anxiety: 10 (worst) to 0 (least)
7. Stay in the situation. If you run away, avoid or escape, it will be more difficult in the future.
8. Take a few slow, deep breaths.
9. Consciously relax your tense muscles. Feel yourself relaxing.
10. Now begin to concentrate again. Focus on what you were doing before.
2. They are not harmful and nothing worse will happen
3. Notice what is happening in your body now. Stay with the present. Slow down, relax, but keep going.
4. Thinking about what could/might happen is unhelpful. Only now matters.
5. Accept the feelings. Let them run through you and they will disappear more quickly.
6. Monitor your level of anxiety: 10 (worst) to 0 (least)
7. Stay in the situation. If you run away, avoid or escape, it will be more difficult in the future.
8. Take a few slow, deep breaths.
9. Consciously relax your tense muscles. Feel yourself relaxing.
10. Now begin to concentrate again. Focus on what you were doing before.
Sunday 8 April 2012
Shake it off!
In the last week I've discovered a new technique which helps me to get a grip on my anxiety before it spirals out of control and from using it I've managed to prevent 4 panic attacks!
So what have I been doing? Erm... Literally shaking the anxiety away. As soon as I feel the adrenaline start to course down my arms & legs I start to shake them. I shake like a crazy person; arms in the arm and so hard that it feels like my hands and fingers are going to fall off. I look totally mental and would never dream of doing this outside or in front of other people but it really does seem to be effective. I suppose it's because I'm doing the opposite of what I usually do. Usually I feel the adrenaline and I instantly tense up, intensifying the symptoms and wait for something bad to happen. perhaps by doing this for a few minutes I'm telling myself that its just anxiety? I don't know but it's helping :)
So what have I been doing? Erm... Literally shaking the anxiety away. As soon as I feel the adrenaline start to course down my arms & legs I start to shake them. I shake like a crazy person; arms in the arm and so hard that it feels like my hands and fingers are going to fall off. I look totally mental and would never dream of doing this outside or in front of other people but it really does seem to be effective. I suppose it's because I'm doing the opposite of what I usually do. Usually I feel the adrenaline and I instantly tense up, intensifying the symptoms and wait for something bad to happen. perhaps by doing this for a few minutes I'm telling myself that its just anxiety? I don't know but it's helping :)
Saturday 7 April 2012
Scared to increase sertraline
Tonight was my 13th night on a quarter of a sertraline pill; I was supposed to go up to half a pill (25mg) after 8 days on the quarter but I've been too scared. It took until Wednesday - day 10 - for my anxiety to die down to a somewhat manageable level and i'm scared that increasing it is going to make me anxious & panicky again.
I've been absolutely exhausted since starting them and I'm sleeping between 8 & 11 hours a night, I can't seem to get enough sleep! I'm having really vivid dreams every night too which I haven't done in a long time. I've been having a lot of dizziness too particularly when in the car & it stops at a traffic light or something and a few times I've been dizzy in my sleep and woke up with the room spinning. I can't really see how a quarter of a sertraline pill can be responsible for this but what else could it be? I'm scared that if I increase, all these symptoms will intensify if they are being caused by it. I'm now regretting not just starting the 50mg at the beginning. I'd be on day 13 and the symptoms would be dying down now and I wouldn't have to increase anything... ah well, not much I can do about it now.
p.s. Still haven't taken any more valium but have them on standby for the increase
Hope you're all well!
L x
I've been absolutely exhausted since starting them and I'm sleeping between 8 & 11 hours a night, I can't seem to get enough sleep! I'm having really vivid dreams every night too which I haven't done in a long time. I've been having a lot of dizziness too particularly when in the car & it stops at a traffic light or something and a few times I've been dizzy in my sleep and woke up with the room spinning. I can't really see how a quarter of a sertraline pill can be responsible for this but what else could it be? I'm scared that if I increase, all these symptoms will intensify if they are being caused by it. I'm now regretting not just starting the 50mg at the beginning. I'd be on day 13 and the symptoms would be dying down now and I wouldn't have to increase anything... ah well, not much I can do about it now.
p.s. Still haven't taken any more valium but have them on standby for the increase
Hope you're all well!
L x
Sunday 1 April 2012
Tonight was the 7th night of taking a quarter of a sertraline tablet; I have one more quarter left and then it's up to half a tablet - 25mg. I'm anxious about the increase. I've been extremely anxious the last week although I doubt I'm even taking enough of the sertraline for that to be the cause. I've hardly left my bedroom, hardly eating and feeling dizzy and off balance quite a lot. Surprisingly though, my sleeping has been great - I've been sleeping between 8 & 10 hours a night - very unlike me! On Tuesday I had the doctors so I had to leave the house for that. It was horrible. I had a long wait in the waiting room, it was absolutely boiling and I thought I was going to faint. I just wasn't in the right frame of mind for it. The doctor was great with me though and I left with a prescription for diazepam (valium).
I never in a million years thought I would ever touch valium for my anxiety; it was a route I just didn't want to go down but due to the anxiety I've been experiencing this week I had to take it to stop me losing it completely. I only take 2mg but I'm allowed to take 4mg 3 times a day. So I'm not relying on it too heavily and I haven't taken any in the last 2 days. I was terrified of meds like valium and I've surprised myself with taking it. I still have stupid 'what if?...' thoughts when I take it though but it's getting easier and I like the relief it brings. I imagine that I'll need it for every increase of the sertraline though. Even if the meds don't make me anxious - I know that I will - it's nice knowing that I have something that will take it away within 20 minutes.
I never in a million years thought I would ever touch valium for my anxiety; it was a route I just didn't want to go down but due to the anxiety I've been experiencing this week I had to take it to stop me losing it completely. I only take 2mg but I'm allowed to take 4mg 3 times a day. So I'm not relying on it too heavily and I haven't taken any in the last 2 days. I was terrified of meds like valium and I've surprised myself with taking it. I still have stupid 'what if?...' thoughts when I take it though but it's getting easier and I like the relief it brings. I imagine that I'll need it for every increase of the sertraline though. Even if the meds don't make me anxious - I know that I will - it's nice knowing that I have something that will take it away within 20 minutes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)